My Uncle Barry

My Uncle Barry had been diagnosed with myeloma and was battling that cancer for 6 weeks before it took his life. 6 weeks, 4 surgeries and one round of chemotherapy to be exact. 

I still feel like it was yesterday when my mom called me to tell me the news the last week of December about my uncle.

“Barry has cancer,” She proclaimed.  I could tell her voice was trying not to quiver. “The doctors think he has a good prognosis, we are just hoping he won’t be in as much pain because it has been pretty bad.”

In my mind I couldn’t really comprehend it. My Uncle Barry, had cancer? That was impossible. Barry had always been a strong, active, healthy military man, and he wasn’t very old.  I knew for sure he would be alright, I mean he just HAD to be. He was MY Uncle Barry. My thoughts jumbled and confused, am I at that stage of life where I am going to start losing my parents and their siblings? I'm to young for this.

As we gathered as a family to say our good byes, I just kept thinking about how for so long I had depended on Uncle Barry, and now he was gone. He was always busy, hard working, a doer. I can still remember him going to a few of my soccer games when we had Regionals in South Jordan, dad and him calculating wins verse loses to see how my team would advance. I remember when him and Sherry bought their house in Provo, and him fixing it up, adding a deck etc. There were barbeques in his back yard, and all the holiday family get togethers we had there. I remember watching the World Cup in his basement as a family when it was Brazil vs. Germany in 2002.  Then being a freshman at BYU and going to a soccer game with my friends and seeing Barry in his stadium chair, watching the game. He drove out 13 hours for our wedding, helped wherever he could, and then hid out in the back the whole reception. 

Then I have my most recent memories as a newlywed living in Uncle Barry and Aunt Sherry’s basement apartment for the first 2 years of our marriage. I will remember him being a comfort to me when my husband was sick and needed a blessing. I will remember him taking us to the hospital at 2 in the morning and staying all night while they ran tests on Brett, Barry patiently reading a book in the waiting room all night, to be there for us. I will remember when Brett and I had to live apart for 5 months while I was in dental hygiene school, that if I ever got scared being alone, that I knew I would be okay. Because I knew Barry and Sherry were upstairs and that they would be there for me if I needed it. 

Barry had always been a hero of mine when I was a little girl. I just didn’t realize how he would continue to amaze me and be one of my heroes as I continued to get older. I guess when you are a child you want to believe that everyone is going to live forever. That things will always work out, and that those you love will always be with you. 

The last week was very surreal to me. It was definitely a harsh reminder that life is hard, and no matter how much we try, sometimes we can’t change the way things end. I think that will always be my greatest trial in life. Being a perfectionist I always want to be in control, have things mapped out, and know what to expect.  

2012 has already not started out the way I would have wanted. We have had some things happen that are frustrating and that I feel we will never get answers to. But I have to hope it will get better. I have already seen so many little miracles that I know are not happenstance and that is what gives me optimism to move forward and continue on. I know that even though things are not “perfect,” that they are good

"God is weaving his tapestry according to his own grand design.  All flesh is in his hands. It is not our prerogative to counsel him. It is our responsibility and our opportunity to be at peace in our minds and in our hearts, and to know that he is God, that this is his work, and that he will not permit it to fail" - 

Gordon B. Hinckley

It is so comforting to know that families are forever, and that we will see Uncle Barry again. I am so grateful for not just my immediate family, but my extended family as well. We will definitely miss Barry's presence her on Earth, but I am sure he is well needed elsewhere.

Uncle Barry, Aunt Sherry, Nate, Me, Aunt Candace, Mom, Briahna (who was carrying miss Baby H)

 Graduation from Dental Hygiene School April 2010

Here is a link to his obituary.